She Asked, Would You Light My Candle?
by bohemians are cool
Summary: Roger is still haunted by the ghosts of the past. But will he let himself escape from the ghosts and fall in love again?
1. A Christmas Brunch?

1Roger Davis sat near the window, mindlessly strumming his guitar while gazing absently at the people strolling the sidewalks of Avenue A. He wasn't really paying attention to anything, though, as his mind was focused on that girl. Mimi. Ever since the dancer from the Cat Scratch Club walked into his apartment last night asking him to light her candle, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. And that made him feel guilty. He couldn't be falling for some girl he just met! It wouldn't be fair to April.

Oh, God. April.

He had been devastated when his girlfriend died months before. For weeks after her death, he didn't even had the energy, or the will, to get out of bed. Roger had loved April more than anything in the world. Even more than his music. She had been perfect. She was beautiful- he got chills every time she flashed those amazing brown eyes and dazzling smile in his direction.. She was smart- she had told him she was the valedictorian of her class when she graduated from high school. And, most importantly, she loved and supported his music. Her death was agonizing for Roger. If it wasn't for his best friends' support, he probably would've tried to kill himself so he could be with her again. But Mark Cohen and Tom Collins stood by him for those long, lonely months after April passed away, and slowly, with their help, he started to recover. But even though he wasn't paralyzed with grief anymore, he still missed her. He missed those cozy nights cuddling on the couch together. He missed running to her arms after a successful show. He missed the long, loving kisses they shared...

Roger wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He still loved April with all of his heart. So he couldn't possibly be interested in someone else. But then...

"_Do you want to dance?" she had asked him, with a flirty smile on her face._

"_With you?" he replied, confused._

"_No. With my father!" Mimi teased, and Roger felt attracted to her in a way he hadn't felt since he met April._

As the sun came out from behind a large cloud, Roger noticed that someone had wrote something on his window in the morning frost. "Xmas brunch. Just us? Mimi." A Christmas brunch with Mimi? Alone? Roger thought again about Mimi's smile, her laugh. He wanted to run downstairs as quickly as possible and accept her offer. He got up out of his seat and started towards the bathroom to go take a warm, refreshing shower and get dressed... but then stopped. April's face popped into his mind again. She almost looked disappointed. It was almost as if her face was saying, _What about me, baby? _Roger walked back over to the window and sat down. No. He couldn't go out with Mimi! He couldn't do that to April. It was too soon. Far too soon. He wasn't ready for another relationship.

Not yet.


	2. Collins!

1Mark Cohen walked into the drafty loft he shared with his best friend and noticed immediately that Roger was not himself. He was just sitting at the window. Staring. His guitar sat beside him, looking like it hadn't been touched in hours.

Mark threw down his dark green messenger bag and placed his camera on the table. The loud _thump_ caused Roger to jump a mile.

"Dude, when did you get here? You just scared the shit out of me!" complained Roger, who had been startled out of his thoughts.

"Sorry. What were you thinking about? You looked awfully distracted," Mark questioned. He could've sworn he saw a flash of sorrow on his face for a moment, but as soon as it came, it was gone. "Nothing... don't worry about it. Did you find Collins?" Roger quickly changed the subject. Their former roommate, and one of their closest friends, had returned from his teaching job late last night. However, he didn't come upstairs after Mark had tossed down the keys to the apartment to him. About an hour after Collins didn't show up, Mark went out to roam the streets of New York City, hoping to find Collins and get some good footage for his new documentary.

"I didn't see him anywhere. I'm starting to get..." Mark began to reply, but was distracted by the sounds of the door being slid open. Both men scrambled to their feet as Tom Collins walked into the room. "Merry Christmas, bitches!"

"Collins!" Mark and Roger quickly started to ask him about where he's been, what happened, etc. "Boys, boys, before we start the 20 Questions, how 'bout some Stoli?" From a plastic pickle tub, Collins pulled out a bottle of alcohol and a stack of paper cups. He poured each of them a shot of Stoli, and then gave them a summary of what had happened the night before.

"Well, when Mark threw down the keys to me, I didn't catch them, so I went to pick them up. And yes, boy, don't think I didn't see you laughing at me! So I picked up the keys. Some guy standing on the sidewalk with a cigarette in his mouth asked me if I had a light, so I went to pull my lighter out, and next thing I knew, his fist was in my stomach. I started running as fast as I could with half a lung-full of air and a bag of clothes and shit. They caught me in the alley and took my stuff. When they left, I tried to get up, but I got sick instead. A little while later, I met this person... let me introduce you to Angel Dumott Schunard!"

Angel Dumott Schunard walked gracefully into the room, a pair of drumsticks in hand. "Today for you," she said, "Tomorrow for me!" The drag queen then continued to explain where the two had last night. Angel had been paid 1,000 dollars to play the drums until a yappy dog jumped off a 23rd story ledge. After he did that, he found Collins in the alleyway and brought him home to fix him up. Soon, they had to leave for their Life Support meeting. Collins had decided to join the group Angel attended, as it was for people with aids. Just like him.

Mark left soon after Collins and Angel, leaving Roger alone with his thoughts yet again. And of course, they were mostly about Mimi and April. Why couldn't he seem to let either of them go? It seemed impossible to forget either one. On the one hand, April. It seemed like she was still there with him, sometimes. Standing beside him, holding his hand. On the other hand, Mimi. Her beautiful brown eyes and hair full of moonlight. While thinking about his encounter with Mimi and her candle, Roger realized that she had been the first person to make him smile in God knows how long. He couldn't just ignore that. Not many people have the ability to make Roger Davis smile. This Mimi had to be special.


End file.
